ME & ME & ME

2010-03-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

BYE BLOGGER.

HELLO LIVEJOURNAL.

2010-03-05T22:33:00.003+08:00

im not happy.
im not sad.
for a moment i think its fine.
the next moment, i dont think it is.
maybe i seem to be smiley and everything.
but deep down inside, im really really disappointed.
she seems to be okay with the grades, but i know deep down she's disappointed too.
she's just not showing cause she doesn't want to make me feel worse.
i know i've let down many people.
im really sorry.

2010-03-03T13:13:00.003+08:00

In 48hrs, im gna see my Alevel results staring back into my face.
i haven't been sleeping well. i sleep late & wake up early.
& so, im down with a cold, having a sore throat and spiltting headache.
ayeee. i dont know why but i feel a bad omen.
my week didnt start out well too.
so....
& my mum went to ask some fortune teller, and he says i wont do very well.
:( :(
SHITXZZZZ.
so, im damn scared.

flu was really bad so i didnt go to work ytd.
but i managed to pull myself to go celebrate k's birthday.
SO HAPPY 19TH DEAR GIRL.

meeting the twin later.
then work from 130 to closing tmr.
THEN FRIDAY.
ok i think someone shld give me some sleeping pills.
so i can sleep thru today, tmr and friday morning.
wake up at 230pm on friday to see the results.
this 'waiting for results period' is killing me :/

2010-02-18T23:56:00.003+08:00

this year's CNY was a little bit more different cause i spent most of it with the friends (:
& with many inbetween, 'jackblack' hahahaha, & mahjong sessions.
day 1 with the family.
day2 at my place, gwen & char's place.
day3 at yx, jenna and lenee's place.

i must say i've enjoyed myself really much with the friends.
but i also meant i slept REALLY little.
the clique stayed at char's hse mahjong&talking till 6am.
& i slept at 7am.
woke up at 9am, went visiting, then stayover at lene's place.
which i had alot of fun with her & melbourne friends.
we talked till 4am.
& the next day i had work.

so overall, this year's CNY was goood.
my angbao collection was goood too hahaha (: (: (:

--
i was filling in my work schedule for the next two weeks, then i realised.
results are coming out in 2weeks.
the jitters are back again.
&& the sleepless nights are back again too.
prepare to see my panda eyes when i get back to school on 5th March.
cause i prolly cant fall asleep the night before.
pleaseeee let me do well!

--
& im super addicted to this song i dont know whyyyyy.
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh--oh-oh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

2010-02-14T00:58:00.001+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
&
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

get many angbaos, hugs&kisses.
♥ ♥ ♥

2010-02-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

i love the princess cake i made todayyyy (:
-
dinner with lene was great.
though it was just a short few hours, but time well spent.
meeting the clique for lunch tmr (: (:
then off to do my nails and hair.
& some last minute shoppingxzzz!

im looking forward to CNY!
cant wait for all the angbaos, & MOST importantly, MAHJONG (: (:

2010-02-08T22:43:00.002+08:00

& it has been a year.
this morning on the way to meet lene to visit jac at church, i kept thinking.
at this time, last year, what were we doing?
i rmb everything really clearly.
dearest jac, your fellow giraffes still miss you dearly.
we hope you're happy, & we know you're watching over us.
we miss you, & we love you.

-
and yes, i met up with dearest lene today.
goood time spent (:
we talked with jac.
we shopped.
we starbuck-ed.
we dintaifung-ed.
we toook many nice photos at marina barrage.
we enjoyed ourselves.
& we hoped you could be with us toooo.
I havent felt so happy in the longest time.

-
Ms H told us about a another poem jac wrote (:
if only life were an internet browser by Jac.

Sometimes I wish I could
Click to the periods of life
Click, click, click
Forwards and backwards
Today and yesterday

If I were younger
And the world older
The consequences I face
Would not be too harsh

The seconds slowly they tick on by
And unfailingly, I never noticed
How much time has passed

Just to be sure,
I want to check,
To see how much I've changed.
But when I do
Why is it that
I still look the same?

I never really noticed how

Important

Each hour, each minute, each second
Could mean.
Only when it's all gone

To think about wasted time
And nary a thought
Would be to waste more time
Thinking about what I've forgot

Wishing that perhaps life were more easy
With just a click, or
Wishing if only life were an internet browser
With just one click,

One, for life to stay
Is wishful thinking actually,
Because the very next second
Is only a tick away

♥♥♥

2010-02-01T14:21:00.003+08:00

I GOT TRICKED BY MS JALENE CHEAH!
hahaha the msn conversations & the letter she wrote,
all wrote she's touching down on 4th Feb 5pm!
& then she told me i'll get a suprise on the 31st of Jan, she told me i'll receive sth.
so i told my mum to help me check the mailbox every now and then when she's free.
and TADAH, at 5.35pm 31st Jan while i was mopping the floor after a kid's party, she called and said,
SHERMAINE IM BACKKKK!
OMG.
hahahah yes lene, a big present i've received on the 31st Jan, YOU (: (:
cant wait to see you dear leneeeee.
-

jan's over, feb's here.
which means its one more month to the results!
but aye there's CNY to look forward to!

2010-01-25T13:40:00.003+08:00

work at dempsey's was (:
although i suffered many blueblacks, and my rightarm's sore like crazy.
& i can only sleep at 4am.
friends call me a workaholic, hahahaha.
but i'd rather work than do nothing.
at least time flies.

&& i had a bad dream last night.
i dreamt i got a S for H1Chem.
& i couldnt get into uni.
can 5th March just quickly come.
thinking of the results can kill.

& my dear K. please take care and getwell soooon.
i want to see you jumping and all again infront of me soooon!
♥ ♥ ♥

2010-01-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

so it has been 6 years.
mixed feelings i guess.
sometimes i want him back; but then sometimes i'd rather not.

things would be very much different if he's still around, im sure.

i've promised him many stuff.
and i hope i'll fulfill them one by one.
because i wouldn't let him down.
because i know he loves me.
& i love him as much.
i miss you very much.
i know you're watching over me ♥

So I won't give up; No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong; Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

2010-01-20T00:55:00.002+08:00

my second cake dedicated to the two Js - Jalene & Jac.

--
today(actually, yesterday haha) was my 'best' day at work, know why.
first i burnt my finger while washing the server.
then, the POS had problems.
then, the receipt printer had problems.
then, the water tank pipe 'burst' and water splashed all over.
hopefully this will be my worst closing.
anything worse than this, i dont know how to react already.

2010-01-16T00:28:00.003+08:00

today was the ever first time i felt tired when i get home after work.
its weird.
i woke up at 11!
stayed home till i went for work.
& i feel more tired than when i wake up at 9, meet friends, then go to work.
so see, the reason i dont like staying home.
makes me feel so lethargic and allllll :/
its the friends who make me (: (: (:

kids carnival this weekend,
so good, time will fly.
i hate it when i stay home, and time crawls.
then i start thinking about stuff again :/

just ytd the usual 'routine' happened again.
i seriously hate being controlled.
i mean, who does?!
but she just dosent get it.
im not a fiveyearold kid anymore.
im turning twenty alr :/
i just need a little bit more space (:
maybe he would have been much more understanding.

2010-01-15T00:19:00.003+08:00

my first ever icecream cake.
this first design's dedicated to the dearest triplets!
each heart representing one of us (:
my next cake will be dedicated to lene&jac ♥♥

--
im in a 'missing-people-mode' again :(

i hvnt seen char&gwen for a whileeee.
the last time i saw them was newyear :(

& lene's far far away.
(but, im just a short distance away dear! hahaha (: )
she'll be back in 20days time ♥ ♥ ♥

& it have been almost a year since she left.

& a few more days, it'll be 6 years too.

2010-01-12T23:26:00.003+08:00

it has been such a long time.
more than a year i think.
maybe its just me.
how i think maybe?
how i react to stuff maybe?
a certain part of me wants to just forget about it.
but the other part, just keeps telling me not to.
i dont know what i am doing.
not only that. everything actually.

i dont know exactly what i am doing.
its just that,
a moment i want to do sth.
but the next, i tell myself not to.
i am weird haha.

& stupid weird dreams again.
its all coming back :/

okay i dont know what im saying anymore.
i want to quickly go back to work tmr.
cause its when i can concentrate and not think about anything else (:

2010-01-10T22:32:00.003+08:00

im going crazy over JANG GUEN SUK haha omg.
here it goes again.
i've been playing and re-playing his songs nonstop the whole day.
then i went to watch movies he acted in haha.
BABY&ME!
the kid in BABY&ME is seriously damn cute.
plus with JGS in it, PERFECT (: hahahaha.

--
and shit, i've been dreaming about the results, again.
the previous time, i dreamt i didnt finish a 'veryweird' GP paper.
so i failed. SHITXZZ.
what if i really fail GP :/ die.

shopping at ikea was fun :D
we came up with a new layout for my roooom!
mum's giving me a week to clear everything.
then i can get new stuff for my rooom, just in time for the new year.
im tired&bored of the current layoutttt :D
cant wait (: (: (:

2010-01-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL is beautiful hahahaha.
been watching it nonstop and yay i've finished it!
VERYVERY NICE.
the friends will have to bear with me these few weeks.
cause i'll probably keep talking about the 3 guys in it!
all so handsome! (: (: (:

everything's well so far!
work's making time fly.
it's good i guess.
(:

2010-01-02T23:22:00.005+08:00

HE, makes me smile (: (: (:

2010-01-01T21:48:00.004+08:00

2009 was another year of ups and downs.
a year of changes.
a year of adaptability.

--
it all started when i had to adapt school life without the clique.
cause i was to used to having them around.
the morning table before school.
random meetups during breaks.
after choir/school dinners.

but, all was well cause i found another group of friends which made life (: (: (: too.
the choir gang, you people know who you are.
those who made me smile, laugh with, sing with etc etc.
that was where life in AJ took a turn.
cause when they left, i felt empty.
but the choir gang changed it, cause i was happy again.
maybe even more happier, cause they never fail to come up with funny antics.

--
but then, february brought my mood down, many others too.
even before that, when J sent me the letter saying she couldnt start the new school year with me.
i was holding my hopes high she could join me after a week or two.
how much i wished i could see her every morning in the class beside me.
having geog lectures with me.
seeing her beautiful smile.
and that hope was gone on 8th feb 8.37am when i received that very sms from gwen.
i read and re-read the sms many times.
every single time i inform one person, i'll read that sms again.
because i didnt believe what i saw.
i thought i would have misread the msg.
i thought i just woke up so i didnt read properly.
i thought i was just dreaming.
it was until i called lene.
when she cried in the phone.
it struck me, and then i realised.
it wasnt a dream.
she was really gone.
that period when she was gone, i think my mind just went blank.
like we didnt know what to do next.
me & lene. we're just _______.
i rmb going to get the wreath for her.
i rmb making the last card for her.
i rmb folding papercranes for her.
ahwell, my heart aches as i type this.
i always say that im happy that she's in a happier place.
but then, like what lene said,
"I can accept it, but I’ll never truly get over it."
somewhere deep down inside,
we still want her back.

so, feb was reallyreally down.
then the friends cheered me up.
& i was busy with choir and schoolwork.
time flew and the pain of losing her was much lesser.
but, i'm still always thinking about her.
our fellow sexy giraffe (:

--
then it was SYF where practices were crazy.
& we managed to clinch that gold with honours (:

--
then, i rmb one day while playing mahjong,
i received a call from lene saying that she was going to melbourne.
tears just flowed down uncontrollably.
but aye haha, that was that.
im now really happy that she's doing fine (:
she's coming back in a month's time.
& im flying over in may, so yay.

--
then, it was the mad rush studying for prelims and As.
i rmb studying at thomson, library etc.
that period just flew by with the blink of the eye.
i rmb how sad i was when i saw my shitty prelim results.
how much i chiong-ed for the A's.
how i panicked before my first paper.
& there, here i am.

--
2009 was really a rollercoaster ride.
the friendships formed ; the friendships broken.
sometimes i really dont want certain stuff to happen.
but like my mum said, that's me.
im trying, i really am.
just need time.

the fun, joy & tears of 2009.
have made me a stronger person.
have made me understand life better.
that it isnt fair.
on top with 2004,
made me treasure the people around me even more.
life's short, so we should live with no regrets.
live, laugh, love ♥

it was the great bunch of friends that made 2009 good.
you know who you are.
love you all.

2009-12-28T21:37:00.003+08:00

these past few days were (:
a good christmas spent i must say.
with the great bunch of friends.

work is good too.
hosted a party today & i had so much fun with the kids.
i love seeing the smiles on their faces.
be it when im serving them or just playing with them.

it scares me how time flies.
2009's coming to the end.
there's so much to reflect and ponder about.
i shall pen them down in a few days time.
till then ♥

2009-12-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

tis' the season to be jolly falalalalalala...
Here's wishing one & all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS! (early)
hahaha wont be home when the clock strikes 12 tmrr!

these few days were happyyyy!
xmas shopping with the twin,
lunch at jenna's,
& work!
i reallyreally start loving whatever im doing now.
the kids, they really make my day.
no matter how tired i am from the clearing up and all,
at the end of the day, i wont be complaining much.
cause i know i had FUN (:
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-12-21T00:50:00.002+08:00

first day at work was fun!
the people were nice (:
& the kids too!
i had this two kids, i think they're twins.
waving goodbye and say THANKYOU JIE JIE so loudly to me.
haha totally made my day (:

but, im damn sad cause i got to work on wed.
will have to miss xmas dinner at jenna's :(
ayeeee.

2009-12-19T22:45:00.005+08:00

the exciting week is finally over.

B&J's training's fun!

learning all about icecream and how to serve people (:

cant wait for work to start tmr!

class steamboat was good too.

with fellow 34 always being so funny and cute.

chalet was (: as well with great company!

i can see myself as a prospective housewife now.

imagine cooking for 10+ people! hahahha.

the twin's coming back tmr.

hopefully i dont have to work night shift on 22nd,

so the clique can have our christmas dinner! (:

& msH's over at melbourne with lene now.

how i wish i could be there too.

MISS YOU VERY MUCH DEAR LENE!

look forward to my christmas mail hahaha ♥♥♥

(on a side note, injection wasnt painful at all. i was complaining when i had to take the typhoid jab. before i knew it, the doctor's done. hahahaha im super proud of myself this time round cause i always had really bad injection experiences. the stupid P6 jabS & when i got bitten by a dog and the stupid doctor gave me a jab with SHIVERING HANDS lol.)

2009-12-13T13:18:00.001+08:00

OMG CUTE TO THE MAXXXXXX.

2009-12-11T22:34:00.006+08:00

spending only 1obucks for prom, totally worth it haha.

seeing everyone all dressed up! & taking photos! (: (:

& where was post prom!

eating rotiprata and walking ALOT.

my ankle has been aching since then, stupid heels :/

next week will be a really fun but tiring week.
hope it'll pass 'healthily' LOL.

steamboat and chalet will make me not sleep well.

& i have to B&J's training, really looking forward to it (:

i miss my two J's veryvery much!

Jaleneee study hard kk (: cant wait for you to be back. 4th feb!

& Jac too. was thinking of the stayover at lene's 2 years back.

how time flies!

♥ ♥ ♥

2009-12-07T23:25:00.005+08:00

i think i can be presented with the "HIGHEST TOLERANCE LEVEL AWARD"

i was able to control myself and not scream back into the phone.

just shut up, let her finish her BEAUTIFUL SPEECH, then off the phone.

then before opening the door, take in the very deep breath, smile and walk in.

and take in whatever nonsense you hear, smile and talk normally, as if nothing happened.

so, this was how i survived it today.

SERIOUSLY, A FEW MORE TIMES I HAVE TO FACE THIS CRAP I'LL REALLY TURN BONKERS UGHHHH

thanks to the friends who made me smile just now. if not, i'll still be roaming around on the streets or maybe camping at k's house tonight.

2009-12-06T23:26:00.004+08:00

finally a complete clique outing (:
KTV at cashstudio was fun!
looking forward to the next meeting hopefully nearing CHRISTMAS!
♥♥♥
---

was watching this little girl play the piano and sing with rachel liang on tv just now.
and i cried so badly.
maybe cause i could relate or sth? or maybe cause i have softspot for kids.
rachel liang's parents, like the little girl, also left when she was really young. when i heard what she said and saw her crying, i couldnt control and cried too.
loved it when they sang you raise me up.

Yoo Ee Yun, she was born blind and abandoned by her parents. she was then adpoted by another family when they realised she had this talent - being able to play the piano just by listening to the song once.
she was three then.
she didnt have any piano background.
even i cant play like her with the scores right in front of me.
makes me think how fortunate i am to be blessed with whatever i have now.
so i should stop complaining about everything & be contented with whatever i have.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

2009-12-05T16:31:00.003+08:00

been in a half angry half happy mood today.

town with the best & rach ytd was (: caught up & gossipped about ppl hahahahaha.
happy flight was nice. if that plane crashed, i swear i'll never take planes ever again.
OHOH & i was happy i did a good deed:

at the traffic light, raining.
there was this VERY TALL angmoh standing in front of me.
he was carrying sth in front of him. so i walked forward to look.
& there, he was carrying this baby. i tell you, i swear its the cutest baby i've ever seen.
BIG EYES. HUGE EYES.
hewas using his hand to 'shelter' the baby from the rain cause they didnt have an umbrella.
so i turned around to xy&rach.
me: the baby is so cuteeeee! so poor thing dont have umbrella.
then, that angmoh turned around & looked at us.
me: I SHELTER YOU!
thruout the whole walk to the mrt station, i kept staring at the baby.
rach says she was about the take a picture of a HAPPYFAMILY:
me, the angmoh & baby hahaha.
i shld have taken a picture with them, wastedddd.
but ahwell was happy i did sth gooood (:

there's sth not good about staying home cause its spoils my happy mood.
i've already kept my mouth shut that you've broken your promise yet again,
i was sth that i did on a everyday basis by not answering calls even if you were busy.
you didnt have to SHOUT & embarrass me in front of others.
so dont blame me for what im doing.
at least i didnt SHOUT & embarrass you in front of others :/
ugh im damn angryyyyyyy.

2009-12-03T22:41:00.003+08:00

a day with good food, good company, good shopping (:
BUT BAD LEGS hahaha.
must be cause of the A's, i cant walk for long. just a bit & my legs hurt like crazy.
seriously, it's the stupid long 3hrs A level papers :/
too used to sitting down alrrrr.

i hope i can pass my B&J's interview and start working.
i need money to fund my shopping trips, new phone & trip to melbourne.
mum refuses to pay anything for me :/

anw mulan's nice go watch. reallyreally touching.
her perserverance and determination.
plus there's chenkun to look at, so charming (: (:

k looking forward for tmr!
shopping & movie with the bestfriend&rachel.
& POP with the twin after that (:

2009-11-30T23:51:00.004+08:00

since the A's ended on the 23rd. time's crawling.
when you're studying, time really flies.
but now when i've got nothing to do, time really crawls.
if not for the SCO performance which occupied me for 4 days, i would have died staying home.

hopefully this week will be better (:
visiting jac with Ms H; having the THRICECREAM FEST with the triplets; town with the best & rachel.

14 more weeks to the release of results.
Go ahead and say im crazy.
remember we used to say 14 weeks to A levels?
& the 14 weeks flew past?
so now, will this 14 weeks really fly past? i hope so.
cause thinking of the results everyday really kills.
been having weird dreams.
i would wake up asking myself, did i complete my econs paper?
cause in my dream, i only completed 2 out of 3 :/

so see?
i think waiting and thinking of the results is even worse than studying for it :/ :/

2009-11-24T00:41:00.002+08:00

ITS finally over. finally.

part of me wants to scream it all out.
but the other part of me goes, SHITXZZZ, the results.
i've been dreaming of it alr, but i'll always wake up when ms zhu hands the cert to me.
never had a glimpse of the results :/

i know i wont score very fantastic grades.
but ahwell, just glad that's its over.
hopefully the results are gd enough for me to enter NIE.

-

2012 was really good, & makes us think alot too.
i wouldnt want to be in that ship and see so many others dying in front of your eyes.
i'd rather be with the majority.
at least they can die will their loved ones.
its better than being in that stupid ship,
where stupid selfcentred ppl only think about themselves.
& knowing that people that you love are dying out there.

it tells us,
how fragile life is.
how important your family is.
how important is it to tell your loved ones what you want to say before its too late.

im so going to watch it again ♥

2009-11-19T13:54:00.002+08:00

i have 96 hours and 50 minutes left to the end of A levels.

i cannot wait for:

Monday,

23rd November 2009,

when the clock strikes 2.50PM.

♥

2009-11-08T15:03:00.003+08:00

& its TOMORROW.

in less than 23 hours time, i'll be having my first paper.
i dont know how i feel now :/
i'll prolly get the jitters tonight when i cant fall asleep.
hope this 15 days wouldnt be a torture for me.
i just want to get over and done with it.
i've done what i can, i've put in my best.

hopefully i can get decent grades to get into NIE.
i dont need straight As.
one/two A's will do, and i'll be satisfied.

i'll walk into the exam venue tmr.
do the paper with confidence.
& walk out, smiling, telling myself.
SHYQ, one paper down.
& everything will be over in a flash.

GOODLUCK & ALL THE BEST dear friends.
we'll all the fighting this battle together.
so, hang in there!
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-11-01T20:56:00.004+08:00

the 3 of us havent met up for the longest time :D
but ah, guess we'll be able to meet again after my A's & their exams.
today's been a :D day.
cause i could talk/see the lovelies ALL IN ONE DAY.
breakfast with the bestfriend.
lunch+celebrations with the triplets.
& talked to lene online (:

-

& its FINALLY down to 1 week, 7 days.
i seriously dont know how i'll do.
but i know that i've been putting in effort this past month.
hvnt studied so much in my life, really.

but i hvnt been sleeping well :/
everytime i close my eyes.
prediction/mitigation/responses for my geog case studies pop into my head.
stupid chem organic reactions, periodicity equations come into my mind.
econs points comes in too. i start generating points in my head.
& formulae for math.

my mum says im having THE exam stress, which is a BIG NO for me.
once i have that, on the day of the exam, my mind blanks out.
SO HOW NOW BROWN COW.
im REALLY VERY EXTREMELY SUPER SCARED for the A's.

please let me pull through this.
i know you're watching over me up there ♥

2009-10-21T20:07:00.002+08:00

because what is done isnt enough.

because i got 19 days left.

because i want to do well.

because i want to be a teacher.

because i dont want to let anyone down.

because i dont want to let myself down.

because i want to prove people wrong.

because i want to fulfill my dream.

I Will Never Give Up.

All The Way.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people

who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

2009-10-17T20:35:00.004+08:00

finally caught the movie i've been waiting since june.
i really couldnt wait till next wk to watch with the rest,
so i bugged my mum to go watch with me today (:

it was reallyreally GOOD.
hvnt cried so much in a movie for a long time.
even my mum who seldom cries, cried.

i preferred the book's ending.
but nonetheless, the movie was still nice.
really worth watching.
gna watch it again next week (:

-

"See, as much as you want to hold on to the bitter sore memory that someone has left this world, you are still in it"

"You dont love someone because they're perfect,
You love them in spite the fact that they're not"

"I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same."

"Extraordinary things are always hiding in places people never think to look."

"It doesn't take a whole long life to realize that what we deserve to have, we rarely get."

"And the very act of living is a tide; at first it seems to make no difference at all, and then one day you look down and see how much pain has eroded"

"Sometimes to get what you want the most, you have to do what you want the least."

2009-10-16T23:42:00.003+08:00

today was the first time i sang the school song out loud.

then i remembered my first day in AJ.

how i forced myself to walk into the school.

no one would ever know how i felt

how much i didnt want to go to AJ.

how much i hated orientation.

BUT.

i have never regretted coming to AJ after i've settled down,

into choir, 3607 or 3408.

i saw&heard the two words 'graduating batch'.
i dont know why, but it felt, unreal

like, its too fast.

it felt as if everything just started, and now it has ended.

its the people i'll miss.

the friends & the teachers.

♥ ♥ ♥

2009-10-10T22:28:00.003+08:00

my days have been buried in my books & notes.

time passes really quickly when you study i realised.

stupid flu bug's back, so i cant go anywhere :/

so, i've been HOME for the past 3 days, studying.

these 3 days have been dull dull dull.

until.

i talked to lene online today. just lit up my day (:

yes, it've been 3 days only.

& i miss her alr.

i shall go buy a webcam asap! SKYPE!

2009-10-07T22:23:00.001+08:00

"Don't be dismayed by good-byes.

A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.

And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes,

is certain for those who are friends."

-Richard Bach

FAREWELL, ADIEU ♥

2009-10-06T21:06:00.007+08:00

these few days, my mind have been revolving around my two other giraffes.

its was jac's birthday ytd, and lene's leaving for australia tmr.

& adding on with the exam stress, mood's been really down.

tmr shall be a 'i-need-a-lot-of-tissue-day' :( :( :(

it wouldnt be THAT long till i see her.

feb when she comes back for CNY,

& june when i go over.

i hope i can control my tears at the airport tmr,

smile,

wish her all the best,

& say goodbye to dearest lene.

♥♥♥

2009-10-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

it really sucks knowing how much you're lagging behind everyone.

it really sucks realising putting in much effort in something results in nothing.

it really sucks knowing i only have 37 days left.

it really sucks that JC life is ending so quickly.

aye, just two words.

everything sucks.

i miss many people.
my mind is in a blank.

cause i dont know what im thinking/doing anymore.

STUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDY

2009-09-29T22:34:00.001+08:00

40 days is going to pass by in a flash.

its the last lap, i'll work really hard now.

prelims results is scaring the shit out of me :/

i dont wna disappoint anyone, anymore.

SHYQ, please focus.

2009-09-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

i had enough of brooding over the shitty geog results.

i bet the following papers would be disappointments as well.

the feeling of not being rewarded although you've worked hard really sucks.

okay no use crying over split milk.

i shall work 100times harder from tmr onwards.

my last 100metres.

ALL THE WAY SHYQ.

its not complicated.

its as simple as 123.

treasure her.

2009-09-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

really nice (: makes me think about many stuff.
for one moment, i thought if it was possible to have such a thing that one can time travel.
because if one can, then i'll be able to see him too.
like how clare managed to see henry although he's not around anymore ♥

2009-09-21T21:45:00.003+08:00

friday with dearest lene was (: (: dinner, long walk to clarke quay, sitting at the bridge talking about anything under the stars. time passes so quickly! so dear lene, 3 years will flash past really really fast, remember what will happen 3 years down the road at the airport ♥♥♥

last paper tmr, cant wait for time traveller's wife after that (:

2009-09-16T22:33:00.005+08:00

half done with prelims (: cant wait for friday to see dearest lene. she's leaving veryvery soon.

maybe i'll slack off sat too. then start studying on sunday for math P2.

& today i realised, time really flies.
it felt as if i just took my midyears, then now prelims.

so imagine, 54days.

i wasnt really used to what my mum just said.

"im always at home alone. soon, i'll forget how you look like."

she rarely says these.

but im really sorry :( i cant study at home with the distractions.

54days. then i'll spend more time at home alright!

2009-09-13T21:56:00.006+08:00

spent the day with the bestfriend. both of us took turns sleeping lol.

the weather was :/ which made us even sleepier.

a long talk ytd made me think alot, alot, alot.

i realised how evil or mean some people can get.

i thought i would only see it on TV, i didnt expect people to be like that in real life.

how complicated life can get :/

why cant we live in a world where there are happily ever afters?

where everyone's nice to one another.

i should be thankful that im blessed with such a great bunch of friends.

i shall stop complaining (:

alright, lesson learnt. i shall try to be nice & bear no grudges.

its better to have one more friend then one more 'enemy'.

what my mum loves to say.

anw,

ALL THE BEST DEAREST FRIENDS FOR THE MADRUSH STARTING TMR.

56 days, its all that i have left.

all the way SHYQ.

2009-09-11T23:42:00.004+08:00

studied with the bestfriend today.

we talked alot, it was long ago since we caught up with each other.

felt so good talking to her. then i remembered our TK days - the long bus rides (:

nowadays, i dont know why, but i keep missing people.

maybe studying made my mood :(

so i start thinking of unhappy stuff, then i miss them.

just today, on the long bus ride to meet her, i passed by macRictchie reservoir.

there, memories about him flowed in.

i remember how much he loved bringing me there on weekends/holidays/when he was free.

he'll bring a book to read, and i'll draw/eat/read/walk around.

i remember he'll always buy me a ice cream when i wasnt coughing.

then he'll bring me to feed the tortises and fishes.

then he'll bring me to have a walk in the park and talk to me.

i wonder how much the place have changed. i shall go back one day.

its been many years.

i also remember, he always liked to bring me to the zoo, or jurong bird park, or haw pau villa, or bukit timah.

i remember standing at one side watching him take pictures with snakes.

i remember when he posed with a parrot on his arm.

i remember the many treks up bukit timah hill with macdonalds hotcakes.

think he liked nature. or maybe, he thought a kid would love those places.

a few days ago, i was asked this question, " Do you still miss him?"

then, i said, "i dont know."

but now i know the answer.

"yes i do miss him, alot."

♥ ♥ ♥

2009-09-10T23:35:00.004+08:00

im ashamed ; for not using my time wisely.

im bored ; that's why im doing this :/

im confused ; of all the stupid organic chem reagents/conditions or whatever.

im depressed ; cause i still have to endure 70+ days of torture :(

im excited ; thinking of the many 'what-to-dos' after A levels. chalet, shopping... everything!

im frustrated ; cause my room's in a mess, again.

im grumpy ; cause of the stupid weather, so freaking HOT.

im happy ; i can meet the friends really soon. 1 more weeek!

im irritated ; by that stupid mosquito flying around in the room. making me itch all over.

im jittery ; 4 days to bulk of prelims, 60 days to the REAL thing.

im knowledgeable ; yeah right :/

im lazy ; to study alr. but i got to press on!

im moody ; cause i miss the friends.

im nervous ; of whatever's gna happen in 2 months.

im optimistic ; (i hope)

im pleased ; with what i've done for geog today.

im q ;

im r ;

im sad ; cause sister's keeper is not out. the computer dosen't want to cooperate with me, i cant watch online :/
im tired ; of chem & geog.

im upset ; of almost everything?

im v ;

im worried ; of what's happening around me.

im x ;

im y ;

im z ;

(im yawning away alr i cant find the right words to fit into the other alphabets. maybe tmr, when i've found more words)

so, you see what studying have done to me ?

thinking of these ultra nonsensical things to do.

i realised almost everything is negative.

so, you see how dull my life is now?

i want to be out of this like NOW.

save me.

2009-09-05T21:13:00.003+08:00

i really really cannot wait for sister's keeper to be aired.
i was supposed to be coming out on 10th sept, but i still dont see it at cathay/gv's upcoming movies :(
i hope im not wrong about the release date.

this movie has a very special meaning to me.
because i knew about the story and thus being able to read the book,
cause of a very special someone (:

just thursday, while studying for econs, i thought about her.
she would have been complaining along with me about prelims.
she would have been working really hard with me.
she would have been ace-ing the A's with me.
i miss her very very much ♥

Life Is Beautiful-Vega 4
Life is beautiful
We live until we die

When you run into my arms
we steal a perfect moment
Let the monsters see you smile
let them see you smiling
Do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated
We barely make it
We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles

Yeah, life is beautiful
Our hearts, they beat and break

When you run away from harm
Will you run back into my arms
Like you did when you were young?
Will you come back to me?
I will hold you tightly
When the hurting kicks in

Life is beautiful,
but it's complicated we barely make it
We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles
Stand where you are

We let all these moments pass us by
It's amazing where I'm standing
There's alot that we can give
This is ours just for the moment
There's alot that we can give.

♥♥♥

2009-09-05T09:27:00.004+08:00

The Proposal was nice and sweet.

a good break aft 135mins of econs paper 2 (:

gna go out to study with the friends now.

& final destination tonight, i cant wait (: (: (:

ultimately, its yours. not mine.

all up to you!

2009-09-02T22:42:00.003+08:00

The four-leaf clover is an uncommon variation of the common, three-leaved, clover. According to tradition, such leaves bring good luck to their finders, especially if found accidentally. According to legend, each leaflet represents something: the first is for hope, the second is for faith, the third is for love, and the fourth is for luck (wikipedia).

studying have been relatively productive (:

was really happy with my progress for econs today.

prelims start tmr.

& the mad rush begins.

all the best dear friends.

i cannot wait for sister's keeper next thurs! (:

2009-08-27T22:50:00.004+08:00

i know what i want to do after A's.

#1, relief teaching. to know how it feels like teaching (:

#2. volunteer at SCS, the children's ward.

#3. fly over to melborne to visit dearest lene.

#4. spend as much time with the friends.

i wont wanna laze at home everyday doing nothing.

i wanna do some thing meaningful.

i just saw a friend's overseas CIP trip photos.

& i got a sudden urge of doing that too aft A's, if time permits (:

meanwhile, ms heng, please study hard.

2009-08-26T22:54:00.005+08:00

I ♥ U

(i love this picture (: )

miss them very very much.

gwen, silver fish fried rice at SSC soooon!

& twin meeet you to study soon soon soon!

prelims next wk.
& i realised how fast time flies.

its coming to the end of my JC life.

i think i'll miss it.

the friends of course, not the studying part (:

probably the best time of my life!

2009-08-23T20:50:00.003+08:00

I LOVE ♥
leon jay williams (:
this song he sang has been replaying nonstop since god knows what time!

FOREVER - leon jay williams
how can it be true? how can it be real?
how can you fall for someone in just a moment of time?
i must be dreaming and this dream should never die.
baby you, show me forever, and its love.

i feel the warmth on your lips
i am lost inside your breath
i can reach the stars, believe in angels that fly.
i found the taste of sorrow
if i can't have you near
my whole world's around you
like the stars would shine, forever.

you can be sure, i'll always be here.
you had me believe in love when you whispered into my heart.
i'll be your only and you'll be the only light.
baby you, show me foreverm and its love.

2009-08-21T19:05:00.004+08:00

it really sucks being sick :/

sorethroat, cough, headache, flu, fever. everything at one go can really kill.

i just wasted 2 days of my life doing nothing.

have been in bed most of the time.

& i swear i had the worst headache in my life last night.

think i only slept for 2hrs.

everything i eat is tasteless.

the whole body aches.

i miss school.

i miss my friends.

i miss everything.

prelims is in 2 weeks. dont torture me like that.

flu flu, go away.

dont come back ever again :/

2009-08-19T21:15:00.005+08:00

ever since the day this became my phone's display picture.

i went around telling the friends i love it (: (:

thanks to the dearest photographer MS GWEN LIM!

missing italy=missing choir=missing the clique!

school's been, like that.
i just want the A's to quickly come, and to quickly go.

THE SORETHROAT IS KILLING ME.

like, seriously kill me.

dont talk to me tmr, cause i'll be very sad.

prolly have no voice to reply you :(

2009-08-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

this made me smile today !

my mochaccino at macs (:

SO CUTE right !

2009-08-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NINETEENTH DEAREST LENE!

thankyou for always being there when i needed someone!

enjoy your special day today!

♥ ♥ ♥

“You were the one who made things different,

you were the one who took me in.

You were the one thing i could count on,

afterall, you were my friend.”

-Tom Petty

2009-08-09T00:06:00.004+08:00

met up with lene and the bestfriend this weekend.

really really happy to be able to catch up with them.

i promise i'll study real hard tmr (:

the moment you told me those things,

the only word that was spinning in my head was,

disappointment.

but.

i know you'll know your limits.

you'll still be one of those,

who would play an important role in my life,

& be one who i'd love.

i'll still love you for who you are.

rmb that no matter what.

i'll still be here for you ♥

2009-08-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

do you know what hurts the most?

2009-08-05T22:09:00.006+08:00

i am really, really tired

with everything.
its affecting me very much.

but dont worry, im still studying.

1483456 take care and get well soon.

we got to study hard together.

lene, i cant wait for friday to see and talk to you again.

i saw a picture of jac, and im missing her very much now.

i miss twin&gwen too, they're starting uni soon.

All I need is a good disguise

One where nobody can recognise

That I'm feeling so small

All I need is a secret weapon

I've gotta have faith

Zapping monsters into outer space

I'm gonna be a Superhero

2009-08-02T22:59:00.002+08:00

for a moment today when i was studying atmosphere (i totally hate it :/)

i suddenly felt like giving up.

but then, i thought of you, you & you.

so, i told myself i had to press on.

no matter how tough this fight is, i'll be brave and fight on.

because, i dont like keeping empty promises.

2009-08-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

i think i'd quickly blog in case i forget what i wanted to say. couldn think fast enough to say what i wnted to say just now. so, here it goes.

when batch 0708 left, i felt lost. like everyone around me felt, different. cause i was too used with my usual group of friends. fortunately, i hvnt regretted, anything. because this past year, was one that i'll never forget. it was this year which allowed me to know even more people, more friends, and most importantly, feel even more for this AJCHOIR family.

this batch was different, we didnt have our annual concert. however, the stay was still very much enjoyable (:

SYF'09 - the major event for batch 0809.
i remember one point of time when i almost wanted to give up, cause nothing went well. it was the friends, from this AJCHOIR family, that encouraged & cheered us on. it was this constant reminders from everyone that our choir, managed to clinch that gold with honours. that award that everyone worked very very hard for. it was the award, that showed our strength and love for this family.

the times spent with the friends in choir this year was simply (: (: (: i cant find the words to describe. the people around are just cute, fun, lovable and nice to be with. With them, laughter guranteed :D

during the sharing session, that moment - when they cut off the web that our batch 0809 has formed. it felt painful. for a split second, it felt like, i had to cut ties with this family. but then, this quote came into my mind, "every ending is a new beginning" - its now another new chapter of our life, as being another part of the AJCHOIR FAMILY. we've gone another step further. from junior, to senior, and now, the laojiaos. also, it meant that we could now keep that very important memory of ours deep down inside our hearts.

thankyou to every single person who made my past 1 year very unforgettable. you all know who you all are, i love all of you, very very much ♥

Sing, Feel, Love.
No Importa La Distancia.
We, have gone the distance.
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-07-30T20:51:00.002+08:00

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

2009-07-28T21:52:00.004+08:00

i think i have drastic/terrible/different moods nowadays.
like today, for some reason, i started slamming my fist on the table and shouting at people.

then aft a while, i can laugh, joke and do crazy stuff with the friends.

okay, call me crazy. cause i think i AM going crazy :/

hello ms shermaine heng yin qi,

you have to just work hard for this 100+ days, then you can enjoy rest of the 215678641547 days of your life! ( okay not as if i can live that long haha )

im looking forward to 231109 (:

okay somebody just spoiled my mood again. she just loves doing it :/

2009-07-25T00:06:00.002+08:00

a great evening spent with dear lene (:

both of us wished you were around dearest jac. all 3 giraffes haha.

♥♥♥

2009-07-18T23:39:00.004+08:00

yes, so i was supposed to be studying.
then i felt like browsing thru photos.
then, these photos brought back many many memories.
with the clique.
from china,

to pattaya,

to italy.
& the gatherings.

we've crossed the continents as we always say (:
i've missed school with them around.

ahwell, 112 days, & IM FREE!

2009-07-18T11:28:00.001+08:00

46 days ; 113 days ;
the results are like that :/
how now brown cow.

2009-07-12T20:23:00.002+08:00

the picture says it all,
I ♥ THIRTYFOUR

2009-07-09T20:44:00.003+08:00

There comes a time when we hear a certain call

When the world must come together as one

There are people dying

and its time to lend a hand to life

There greatest gift of all

We cant go on pretending day by day

That someone, somewhere will soon make a change

We are all a part of Gods great big family

And the truth, you know,

Love is all we need

Send them your heart so they'll know that someone cares

And their lives will be stronger and free

As God has shown us by turning stones to bread

So we all must lend a helping hand

When you're down and out, there seems no hope at all

But if you just believe theres no way we can fall

Let us realize that a change can only come

When we stand together as one

We are the world, we are the children

We are the ones who make a brighter day

So lets start giving

Theres a choice we're making

We're saving our own lives

its true we'll make a better day

Just you and me

2009-07-07T19:16:00.001+08:00

i'm tired already. of all these energy and time consuming cycles everyday.
i want somewhere i can be myself after a long day out.
& not somewhere i have to keep finding reasons to stay.
i think i cant smile there anymore.
i want you back. now.
but it wouldn't happen.

you're somewhere far far away ♥

i really want to take a long break from everything. but no, i dont have the time.
maybe after the big A's, i'll go to the beach and scream all out (:

2009-07-06T00:03:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 19TH DEAREST TWIN ♥ ♥ ♥
we hope you love your presents veryvery much. all made by your dearest 'best present makers' in the world (:
FB the photos to see me&gwen's wonderful art pieces aka twin's present!
both of us cldn bear to 'leave' the presents just now. they're simply too prettyyyy!
WE LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCHXZXZ, CHARMAINE (:

Happy birthday to you, you're still young.
Age is just a number, don't you stop having fun.
This is your day, your day, happy birthday to you.
This day only comes once every year,
Because you're so wonderful with each and everything you do, hey!

Happy birthday to you, this is your day.
On this day for you we're gonna love you in every way.
This is your day, your day, happy birthday to you, to you, to you.

2009-07-05T12:26:00.002+08:00

a week of madness is over. i shall take a very short break and start all over again.

just finished watching 10 promises to my dog. really touching (:

& just read reviews about sister's keeper. they changed the ending :/

ice age was really cute and funny. i love peaches :D

i cant wait for later. meeting the twin, gwen and jaffa.

been reading up quite alot on MJ. and so i've been listening to his songs (which i NEVER did last time) & some are really nice!

You Are Not Alone
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

Heal the World

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Will You Be There

Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend

Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
Would You Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Skold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

okay this post is not organized. cause my mind's in a whirl now.

but, i think i've made up my mind.

BYE.

2009-06-26T15:12:00.003+08:00

(got it from the twin (: thought it was really nice haha )

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man/woman you love but with the man/woman who loves you more.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving; it only means that you allow that person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love, that doesn’t mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive, no past so bitter that love cannot accept, and no love so little that we cannot start all over with. ♥ ♥ ♥

2009-06-24T22:39:00.005+08:00

yes, time is running out.
revision for midyears was :/ :/ :/ i'm 100% sure i'll do really badly.
dont think my mum will ever read this but, she'll have to be mentally prepared. not that i hvnt been studying, but what i've studied isn't enough. i shall psycho myself that it's only midyears, not the real thing.

But there's sth that i'm really proud of, for the past few days i've been studying past midnight (first time in my education of 13years!) &, i know this sounds crazy, im starting to like ECONS. for the past half year, i have been really lost in econs tutorials and lectures, but since i started tuition, i think i've started liking the subject. kudos to the TUITION teacher. (note: tuition teacher, NOT tutor haha)

okay what im typing isnt making sense, see what studying does to one. plus my mum is nagging at the background i cant think straight ohwell :/

ALL THE BEST, EVERYONE, FOR THE DREADED MIDYEARS.
(how i wish there was extended hols :/)

2009-06-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-06-20T00:12:00.004+08:00

hello my dearest lene. im sure you'll do veryvery well. i dont want you to leave, but remember what i told you. we'll look at it at the long term k.
3 years will fly past. i promise i'll save money now, then after A's i can fly over to visit you, to complain to you about everything, to laugh with you about everything. everything will be the same, i'll still love you.
3 years later when i see you step out from the arrival hall, im very sure i'll see a happier and confident jalene standing in front of me.
(im very sure jac would say the same too !)
i know the start would be tough dear, but remember your friends will always be there to support you. like some of them said, follow your heart, do what you think is correct for yourself (:
i love you dear, smile !

2009-06-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

read about this little girl, charmaine, 3 years old. & she has cancer.
go read the blog, she's really, really cute. i almost cried when i watched her video. a little girl like her, being so strong.

i wna go visit her at the hospital, after my midyears.
i wanna meet this strong little girl.

"I will throw the naughty monster in the dustbin and laugh at monster," declared little Charmaine with a cheeky little chuckle.

2009-06-14T21:53:00.005+08:00

(i seriously think, i look super cute in these two photos haha)

You tuck me in,
Turn out the light
Keep me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that

Brush my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when i looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when i couldn't sleep at night
Scare things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

thankyou mum, and dad
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-06-11T09:34:00.003+08:00

Life's a climb, but the view is great.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreamin
But theres a voice inside my head sayin
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
lost with no direction
My faith is shakin

But I, I gotta keep tryin
Gotta keep my head held high

The struggles I'm facing.
The chances I'm taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah.
I Just gotta keep going.
AndI, I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on 'cause,

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
But Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

2009-06-08T23:37:00.005+08:00

(the quote of this picture was, "what to do when you're bored to death; i think this could be one good definition for being bored: "organising your books by cover colour". LOL HAHA)

i've nth much to blog about nowadays. probably cause i've got no life now.
everyday, its notes & books surrounding me. i've got 152 days to go! i dont want it to come. but i'll have to face it.
SL: i wna see you face up there at the top student's list next year.
me: HUH?!?!
SL: dont worry. good luck.
me: (even louder) HUH?!?!
like seriously. me? a top student? maybe my next life haha. give me a break!

anw im really proud of myself, cause i ran 4.2km at the gym today (: (: tmr, i'll aim 5km!

2009-06-04T23:57:00.003+08:00

she's always like that.
everytime i put in effort in study. and i show her what i've done, happily, she'll always have something to shoot back at me.
"do so nice for what. i dont think it actually gets into your brains."
hey, at least im trying!
& im really proud of it, okay?

time's ticking away. & im feeling the stress alright.

2009-06-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

it wasnt that difficult was it? i almost thought i cldn take it.
now, it shall be kept somewhere deep inside.
this time, sleeping helped. i napped 4 hrs straight. & im fine now (:

im happy again (: thanks dear lene. you're always there!

2009-05-31T23:38:00.002+08:00

dance subaru's nice. watch it (:

-

i would very much want to live my dream.
but, can i?

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

2009-05-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

it was our last performance. as batch 0809. when jenna said, " okay choir, you're dismissed.", i didnt feel like moving. it felt as if i wna stay in that particular moment forever and the time'll just stop there. my journey as an official member ended.
a few days ago, i rmb telling them that i really hoped everything would come to an end. no more rehearsals, no more sectionals, no more choir. BUT now, that choir has really ended, i realised how much i will miss my ajchoir family.
ohwell, at every end, is a new beginning!

i'll miss all the crapping sessions outside the choir room.
i'll miss all the screaming our high notes sessions outside the choir room.
i'll miss all the bickering and quarrelling sessions with them.
i'll miss all the beautiful music that we've all created.
i'll miss all the sectionals time that i spent with my sops.
i'll miss all the stretching, yoga and warm up sessions.
i'll miss all the choir dinners/lunches aft practices.
i'll miss every single member of the ajchoir family.
i'll miss everything and anything about ajchoir.
no importa la distancia. go the distance.
AJCHOIR, i love you.

one short conversation, sparked me off, to think alot.

2009-05-27T21:05:00.002+08:00

haha here's presenting to you the anderson clique - AC.
the email from gwen totally made my day (: so cute. they came up with a blog to wish the different ppl in the clique HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i love you all!

school's been, draining? tired? stoned? nth's going into my head during lectures/tutorials. i know i dont have much time left. last few days i promise. i'll going to chiong like a crazy fella during the hols. I WILL FINISH MY RACE! (gwen see this haha!)

lene, the deadline i gave myself was 24th rmb.
i would have said it. would you?

2009-05-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

a big thank you to everyone,
who made my 19th birthday the bestbestbest (: i loved the presents, cakes and suprises alot!
the cake baked by twin, the bag & the beautiful card from the clique.
the superduper cute volkswagen card, sunflower and cake from the sops. thanks partner!
the handmade photoframe from jalene. i really love it alot dear lene!
the bear from the bestest and rach. handmade clothes and bag for it!
the sweets, perfume and polish from the 34 girls.
& last but not least, i love the set of interesting testtubes, top, cake and suprise from some of my dearest choir mates.
everyone who sms-ed, facebook-ed, called to wish me happy 19th!

ALL IN ALL, i can say this was the best birthday i've ever had.
I LOVE YOU ALL ♥ ♥ ♥

2009-05-21T22:24:00.001+08:00

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH JENNA!
i love you 1483456!
♥ ♥ ♥

2009-05-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

parents.
teachers.
school.
work.
people.
nothing seems to be going right.
i know i should not be taking that seriously, but sorry its really affecting me.
cause this IS me.

but;
i think im better now after talking to jalene. the assurance, advice and constant reminders that i should not let anybody down.
"you dont owe your results to anyone but yourself ok? dont stress yourself over other people's expectations of how you are supposed to perform because you'd just end up miserable."

i miss the people i loved. all of them.

2009-05-11T19:48:00.003+08:00

& so this is what i made for the bestfriend (:
i shall be early by 4 hrs!
HAPPY NINETEENTH XINYI!
its has been a great 6 years with you!
PS. that photo was taken exactly one year from 120509 (which is tomorrow!)

2009-05-05T21:12:00.003+08:00

and so,
WE ROCKED VCH AND SHOWED THE AJ THING!
ajchoir, gold with honours'09 (:
all our hardwork paid off.
all the practices.
all our sweat.
all our tears.
no regrets!
kudos to the comm! esp swee, jon and jenna.

thanks for the seniors who came down to support. ,
and most importantly, my dearest triplets (: (: (:

my last SYF, & my last gold with honours.
thank you, AJCHOIR.
no importa la distancia.

2009-05-04T22:03:00.001+08:00

its our big day tmr.
we will shine on stage.
all the way ajchoir!
no importa la distancia.

& yay im a licensed driver now (:

2009-04-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

i am so very happy now (: cause gwen has just received news that she's accepted by NTU. & twin too. im so happy for them for their good results and thus having a place in uni. & me? i am still struggling :/ AHWELL.
i was so happy meeting up with them on sunday. ate, talked, shopped, camwhored, uniqloed, frolicked, F.I.S.Hed. time spent with them is the best! (:

SYF, 6 days.

2009-04-27T23:34:00.002+08:00

mum says i should go for a bloodtest. she thinks there's sth wrong with me.
cause im sleeping enough, but, i still feel very tired and i look tired.
& there's some stuff happening to me so she's insisting i go for one.
but no im not going.
i hate injections.
when something comes, it comes.
so, just leave it (:

ajchoir, 8 more days.
we can do it.
no importa la distancia.

2009-04-26T10:24:00.005+08:00

the sister's keeper trailer's out. i can wait for the movie to be out.
but it'll prolly be screened in sg around july/aug/sept, or even later.

2009-04-25T23:14:00.002+08:00

"Before you go through with this I want to remind you of septmeber 7th 1988, it was the first time I saw you. You were wearing a Guns n Roses t-shirt and you were reading Less Than Zero. I'd never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you or I'd die.
Then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance and I felt so peaceful and safe because I knew that no matter what happened from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad, because I had you.
And then I grew up and I lost my way, and I blamed you for my failures.
I know that you think you have to do this today.
I don't want you to, but I guess if I love you, I should let you move on. "

"When you're young everything feels like the end of the world.
But it's not it's just the beginning, you might have to meet a few more jerks.
But one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
Like the sun rises and sets with you. "

i hvnt watched a nice movie for ages.
17 again was good.

2009-04-23T22:57:00.003+08:00

12 more days to SYF.
11 more days to driving test.
everyday im feeling tired.
everyday i fall asleep during lectures.
everyday i tell myself 25 more weeks.
everyday im too tired to study when i get home.
tell me how.
hopefully everything'll be okay aft may.
its time to settle down.

2009-04-19T20:36:00.007+08:00

R asked me to watch this. and she typed, i know you're going to cry, knowing me. haha.
Susan Boyle. like R, i thought it was going to be someone weird or would probably do sth funny on stage. even the audience & judges looked like they thought so. just watch.

Susan Boyle, Britain's got talent.

like lene, i thought it was really inspiring. until the very second before she started singing. i still 'deemed' her as sth weird. until she started singing. i was like, OH.MY.GOD. her voice was :O
so, it tells us to not judge people by its cover. most of us usually do, i do.
"i am so thrilled. cause i know that everybody was against you. i honestly think that we were all very cynical. and that was the biggest wake up call, ever. and i just want to say that it was a complete privilege listening to that." - amanda holden
"susan boyle, you can go back to the village with your head held high, with 3 yes-es." simon cowell.

2009-04-17T23:47:00.002+08:00

& so, this was the best thursday + friday i've spent (:
the pictures speaks a thousand words.
i love them to bits.
triplets outing again next weekend!
gwen thanks for the food you got from japan. i still cant bear to eat them. all so pretty!
& lene, i reallyreally love the gifts you got from korea! (: & thanks for hearing me out, so sad we didnt have enough time. i know both of us still have SO MUCH to say rightttttttt! meet up soon again dear!

♥♥♥

2009-04-15T22:45:00.002+08:00

im super happy now cause im gna see them tmr :D
hvnt seen tmr for ages, esp ms gwen!
the tripletlove :D